I was flying through the internet at the highest speeds Bright House could offer me but not really fully provide me with when I found this boss ass website Touch of Modern. There’s all types of cool looking, health-inducing, game changing shit on there. I would suggest that you shop at Touch of Modern and get your shit on point. It’s invite only, though, so I went ahead and made a list of just a few of the items they have for sale (in case you suck and can’t get accepted). Leave a comment below and we’ll send you an invite.

1.) Amazing Humidifier – Turn Your Water Bottle Into A Humidifier

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Whaaat? This is like having a Triple H stage intro on repeat. I could be entertained for hours, plus I get to breathe air that has had 99.9% of its bacteria removed. In the words of Charli Funk, that’s Rawesome.

2.) The XD Window Charger – Harnesses the Power of the Sun

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So I attach this to a sun-lit window, and I can charge my phone without a power outlet? FOR $50???? That’s Future fresh. This the type of stuff they will eventually outlaw so that you can stay paying high power bills. SMFH. I wonder if you can just walk around and hold it up to the sky? I COULD PLAY CANDY CRUSH FOREVER! Nice work, XD Design.

3.) Sempli – Rolling Glasses FTW

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OK so this one is not as health-driven as the others. Hell, this may drive you to drink more alcohol just so you can appreciate this almost mind bending glassware in your least lucid of states. However, these glasses are still cool looking and they make me happy. So go get one.

4.) LightAir – Air Purifiers from another world

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You can’t pour cognac on these bad boys here. You can’t charge your phone with them. But just like the first item on the list, these elongated tabletoppers remove the toxins from your air (like bacteria, mold, smoke, pollen and dust) to deliver fresh, almost mountainous oxygen. Well that’s what the site says. Mountainous? I’ll believe it when I breathe it. I actually want a shrine of these with some of the water bottle humidifiers all around it. Put on a little smoke and light show. Right? Right?

5.) Oblique Bottle Holder – Defy Gravity like Superman

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I don’t really favor wine; oddly enough, I would start an entire army of Zinfandels just to set them up on these things. We could line them up like dominoes and take bets on how many bottles will break? I always did love drinking games.

Visit Touch of Modern today.